Actions do the Talking

Ah yes, the old phrase “actions speak louder than words.” This common phrase, you could argue could be broken into a couple pieces. Do they really speak louder? Do they even speak? The main part that is the focus of our discussion is the latter. In what circumstances do our actions seem to speak on purpose or inadvertently?

The first thought that came into mine was relationships, from marriage, to dating, to even friends and family. Though its value depends on the person’s individual preference levels, actions can show someone what you may think of them. Let’s start with a positive example of actions with intent to send a certain message. Valentine’s Day, though on occasion a chore, often is used as a day to give gifts or serve your significant other in some way. Maybe a husband will buy his wife flowers, make her breakfast in bed, etc.  The intention of this message is usually to say I love and care about you. On a non intimate level maybe it is something like cleaning your room or cutting the grass to show you parents you value their pride in their household. The action of serving without being asked is a good way to communicate that you are thinking of someone else and that there well being matters to you. They can also be not so heartwarming. Let’s go fairly extreme. What if a burglar entered your household? What message do you want to send to that burglar? My guess is that you want to tell him he is not welcome. Rather than talk it out like gentlemen, you let him know you are there by rustling, turning on a light, grabbing a bat and chasing him out of the house.  I think they will get the picture.

How about sending signals when you aren’t intending to send them?  We could stick with close, possibly intimate, relationships as these messages may cause quite the ruckus, but let’s deviate from that topic. Instead let me focus on something that relates to my sports fan life. I have long been a Michigan and Detroit Lion’s fan. I entered college with the intent of being in the Lion’s front office one day. I had a conversation with a member of the Bears who suggested that I get involved with the football program at University of Illinois to improve my resume, then I could work for the Bears and move on to the Lion’s once I left college. Needless to say I got both desired positions and my future with the Lion’s was well on its way. When I arrived back home to my church I realized I had sent out a message that I had no intention of sending. Everyone wanted to hear about the teams and what it was like behind the scenes of the Illinois football program. I have been an inducted member of the wild Illinois fans due to my actions. I have yet to tell them where my allegiances still lie (Partially because it is fun to be wanted). Part of my job for the Bears included running a 16 foot flag out of the tunnel when the game starts and waving it around during the introduction. This does not exactly scream Lion’s fan. So while the overall purpose of this was to get a job with the Lion’s, the message being sent was far from it.

If there was a less related message I would consider the act of doing nothing to be quite powerful, in sending both intended and unintended messages.  I think this often rears its head in relationships but I’m sure it could find other instances.